Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Just for fun

So, while I work on getting some new stuff up for you folks, here's something a little fun and funny to fill a few idle moments. Should the desire strike you, feel free to make one of these lists yourself and pass it on!

Embarrassing Foodie Confessions

1. I don't like runny egg yolks. In fact, I just don't like runny eggs. So all those popular-with-foodie recipes that call for poached or soft-boiled eggs on top of salads or pasta or pizza or in soups? Yeah, not for me. That's one food trend I'll probably never get behind.

2. I actually prefer the cheap parmesan to real parmigiano reggiano in most cases - the real stuff tends to be just a bit too strong for me most of the time.

3. One of my favorite things to eat in the world (something I've been making ever since I was in middle school and started making my own after-school snacks before my mom got home from work) is pasta of any shape, cooked and flavored with chicken or beef bouillion and some combination of any or all of the following ingredients: soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, powdered garlic, powdered onion, teriyaki sauce, sweet chili sauce, lemon juice, extra virgin olive oil, sesame oil, caned diced tomatoes. This also applies to ramen noodles. This is my go-to indulgence meal nowadays, particularly when I am home alone at mealtime.

4. I have never baked a chocolate cake. Not even from a box. I just don't like chocolate cake all that much.

5. Actually, I don't really like chocolate all that much, period. I like a square of REALLY dark chocolate with a good glass of red wine, and I like things like truffles and barks that are flavored with other things, but only in very small amounts. I'm certainly no chocoholic, feminine stereotypes be damned.

6. I love pickled, brined, and/or marinated vegetables and could probably eat them everyday of my life, particularly if they are of the Italian suitable-for-antipasto-variety.

7. Vegans, particularly raw vegans, make me crazy. Don't get me wrong, I respect other people's diet decisions, and I have no problem with someone deciding to cut out animal products from their diet if it makes them happy. But everytime I see a vegan blog post about "chicken teriyaki" that's actually tempeh, or "fettucine alfredo" that's actually zucchini cut into ribbons and a sauce made out of ground up walnuts and soy protein, or a "cheesecake" that is made of tofu and doesn't have a speck of actual cheese in it, I kind of want to scream. Just call the damn food what it is, would you? If you don't want to eat meat or dairy, why would you name things to try to pretend that you are? Just accept that you're eating nothing but produce and grain, for goodness sake. (And really, a lot of this stuff may be tasty, but this just irks the hell out of me.)

8. I want desperately to grow my own produce in my own garden, but I have a seemingly incurable black thumb and kill every plant I touch. So Alice Waters, got any advice for me?

9. That being said, the Slow Food movement also annoys the hell out of me, but I'll save that rant for another day.

10. I have never been able to make breakfast quite right and am convinced that early morning cookery is a particularly masculine talent - every guy I have ever known could make a killer plate of eggs and bacon or perfect pancakes, even if they couldn't do anything else in the kitchen.

11. I don't think I will ever try tripe or huitlacoche, simply because their appearance grosses me out.

12. However, I think that I would eat insects, and would probably try the meat of almost anything that walks on land if it was available and edible. Except for dogs and cats. I don't care how common it is in Asia, I'm not eating Fluffy.

13. In all honesty, I don't really know why I write this blog. I doubt anyone reads it except for J, and half the time I don't even feel like writing, but I guess I just like talking about food.

14. I don't really like sushi. I feel like I must be the only foodie in the world who doesn't.

15. I like Paula Dean. No really, I do. She's true to herself and doesn't care if the food she cooks is going to kill her someday - if people don't want to suffer the same fate, they won't make her recipes, and that's that, but she just keeps doing exactly what she wants to be doing, and I love that. Plus, I think she's absolutely adorable, and kinda want her to be my jolly, welcoming, always-has-something-cookin' aunt. Ill-advised endorsement deals aside, I actually really respect her and would love to meet her. (I feel the same way about Guy Fieri, though I think his crimes are rather less heinous in most people's eyes. C'mon, Triple-D is a good show!)

1 comment:

Jane said...

I agree completely about Paula Deen and I love Guy Fieri-who could withstand that boyish charm?! Also: sushi? Don't get it. I also respect freedom of choice for those who wish to restrict themselves from certain food groups but people? You are fooling no one with your versions of real food. Get over it. The rest of us don't go around telling everyone we're omnivores-we just choose what we choose at restaurants and don't expect vegans or vegetarians to cook special meat meals for us: give us the same respect and don't expect us to cater to your voluntary dietary limitations.
Phew! I'm done now!

The only thing that I don't understand is how anyone could not be into chocolate. It's my primary food source. After meat. LOL